JNo in the House!!! (Part 3)

When last we left off, it was Saturday evening and Jennifer's last night in town.  We started off with a fabulous dinner at Restaurant Zoe: quinoa and beet salad with basil puree, pecans, pecorino, and harissa; spicy wild boar bolognese with arugula pappardelle, chili flakes, and shaved parmesan; and peanut butter & jelly profiteroles with a peanut butter mousse ice cream and roasted strawberries for the jelly.  Yum, I will definitely be going back there!  While we were eating, I noticed the drunk birthday girl who had been sitting at the table next to us was standing barefoot in front of the bathroom door, pounding and shouting at the door.  It was a pretty funny sight to behold, but it was even funnier when her friend stepped out of the other bathroom door.  I felt bad for whoever was in the bathroom she'd been shouting at, but I guess it's okay to act a fool on your birthday, right?

As we left the restaurant I became mesmerized by the people I saw in the street.  I had never been in the Belltown neighborhood on a Saturday night before.  I'd heard people describe it as the 'Jersey Shore' of Seattle and boy were they right!  I've never seen so many skin-tight micro mini skirts, stiletto heels, and leopard print outfits.  Who knew these people even lived in Seattle???  I found it fascinating from an anthropological standpoint and made Jennifer walk up and down the streets with me for a solid half hour just so I could soak in all the great people watching.

After I finally got my fill, we headed over to a chill little bar in my neighborhood.  We had my favorite waitress and they had completely opened up the front wall of the bar so it was like we were sitting outside.  As we enjoyed our beers I noticed a guy that kept walk past the bar, then peeking his head in, then walking past again.  Eventually the waitress, asked him if he needed any help or wanted to be seated, he said no, and then turned to Jennifer and I and asked if he could join us.  I was hesitant, but Jennifer was on vacation and obviously wanted to have a fun night, so why not let a stranger join us?

He kind of looked like one of the real estate agents from that show Million Dollar Listing.  I'd only seen the show a few times, but I just did a quick Google search and found out his name is Josh.  Holy crap!  The guy we met was named Josh!  Jennifer, do you think this is our guy??? ------>

Anyhow, Josh explained that he was visiting Seattle from California to see a friend of his.  Where was this "alleged friend" of his you might ask?  I asked, and apparently she was at home sleeping.  As we were sitting around talking, he had his elbows up on the table with his hands clasped in front of his face and I noticed that he kept smelling himself.  I must have given him some sort of cockeyed look, because the next thing I knew he was holding his wrist in front of my face and insisting, "smell me, smell me".  I was quite reluctant, but considering it was after midnight and I'd had a bit to drink, my defenses were down.  I succumbed to peer pressure and took a whiff.

I looked back at Josh and Jennifer and shrugged, "I don't know, you smell like cologne or something".  Josh looked a little hurt and offended, "It's not cologne.  It's essential oils.  My own special blend."  Apparently one of the other reasons for his visit to Seattle was to meet with an essentials oils company to work on creating and marketing his own special fragrance.  Although he used to be some sort of high security clearance government engineer he gave it all up to pursue his aromatic dreams.  He told us all about how he'd been inspired by Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich.  Momentarily I was concerned that he was going to try and recruit us into some sort of pyramid scheme, but thankfully, I think he was just looking for an audience not disciples.

Unfortunately I can't even remember all the funny stuff he was talking about, but eventually 2:00am rolled around.  Our waitress's shift had ended awhile ago (although she was still hanging around at the bar) so the bartender had to come up to the table and clear away our glasses; "no alcohol on the table after 2:00am" he said.  Jennifer and I had finished our beers, but poor Josh got his taken away :(  You would think that the clearing away of our glasses and the fact that we were the only people in the bar would've been a pretty clear signal that it was time to go home, but I guess we weren't in the mood to take subtle hints like that.

This is when Josh decided to break out his big philosophical guns:

Josh:  Do you want to know one of the most important pieces of information in the world that most people don't even know about?
Me:  Absolutely!
Josh:  Do you know how many full moons there are in a year?
Me:  12 or 13
Josh:  And how many times do you menstruate every year?
Me:  Uhhhh... huh?  I guess 12 or 13 times.
Josh:  Doesn't that just blow your mind?
Me:  No.

This is when Josh went off on a 20 minute diatribe about how studies had been done to show the linkage been menstruation and the phases of the moon.  Jennifer and I (in between fits of uncontrollable laughter) tried to explain that (even if we disregard artificial hormonal interference) there are still wide variations in a "normal" cycle length.  Sure, it's kind of interesting that the average lunar cycle and the average menstrual cycle are approximately the same, but what about it?  Not all women are on the same cycle, in phase with the full moon.  Was he trying to suggest some sort of cause and effect relationship, like the tides?  I don't think we ever figured out what his point was supposed to be, but we did notice that it was now 3:00am and we were, of course, still the only people left in the bar.

Although the wait staff were just hanging out enjoying themselves, we decided it was time to go... or at least try.  We made it as far as the sidewalk in front of the bar and then we started talking with our waitress and her friend, Mandy.  I had a very deep conversation with her about being named Amanda.  Aren't all 3:00am conversations deep?  Finally after another half an hour we decided it was really time to go.  Josh insisted on walking us home and by this point in the evening, I think we had firmly established that he was harmless.  Once we got to my front door there was some young, spiky-haired Asian guy with a harem of ladies around him and Josh immediately went up to the dude and started talking like they were old friends.  I thought Josh was from out of town and didn't know anyone in Seattle, did he know that guy???  Jennifer thinks he was just being friendly because it was late at night, but I think it seems mysterious.

I didn't end up going to sleep until 4:30!!!  That's definitely the latest I've been up in a long time!

The next morning (at 11:30 thankfully) we had tickets for brunch at Teatro ZinZanni, a crazy sort of dinner theater, circus, and variety show with a lot of audience participation.  They do a mini version for brunch with a 4 course meal served in an original 1920s mirrored circus tent.  The theme centered around Caesar and Cleopatra, which meant that the half-naked Egyptian God Ra, was making his rounds in the tent.  He stopped at our table to sprinkle love dust (aka edible glitter) all over my food and then growled at me... and I liked it!  Hahaha.  My main course was really disgusting, but overall the show was fabulous and I'd love to go back for the main dinner show.  That's a hint to future guests ;)

After our late night Saturday, we took it pretty easy on Sunday afternoon; just napping and stopping for more pancetta wrapped dates.  Then, unfortunately, the time came for Jennifer to head back home.  I know she was happy to be reunited with Aubrie and Bryan, but it was so sad to see her go.  I wish I could just make all of my favorite people move out here.  I promise you all would like it!