Adventures in Licensing

Yesterday was actually my third, and unfortunately not my final, attempt and to get a Washington driver's license.  The first time I got lost and couldn't find the building and the second time I ended up not having enough time because the online "estimated wait predictor" was way off.  So yesterday I set aside plenty of time and brought a book.

Washington offers an "enhanced" driver's license which allows you to travel into Canada without a passport.  Since I don't have a passport it seemed like a good idea although it does take extra time and documentation.  The only thing I was worried about was proving my Washington residency, because... uh... I just moved here.  Thankfully when my number was finally called and I showed them all my documents, I passed the test!  Woohoo, I was on my way to being official.  I had to go back and wait for them to hear from homeland security, to determine if I was a terrorist threat before issuing the enhanced license.

After another long wait I got called back to the counter (by a different person then the first time).  Evidently they had decided that I did not present a clear and present danger to the safety and security of Canada.  Phew!  That was a close one...  Now this guy had to double check my documents, including my birth certificate.  This is where the trouble started.  The certificate that I have in my possession is the exact same one that I've had my entire life, it says outright that it is a certified legal document, it's printed on thick coated paper with official seals, signatures, and serial numbers, and according to the Washington DMV worker... it's fake! 

Ummm, excuse me?!?  You've got to be kidding me, right?  There is absolutely no possible way that it's fake and for him to even suggest it was preposterous.  I spent a solid five minutes doing everything I possibly could to convince this guy that this was my real birth certificate, but because the document "certifies that the following information has been taken from the original record of birth" somehow he thinks it's not legit.

Amanda:  Yes, sir, the information was taken from the original; that makes it official.
DMV Jerk:  Ma'am it says taken.
A:  Of course it was taken.  How else could they have gotten the correct info?
D:  Taken!
A:  Well, yes, the hospital is the one who generated the information in their records so my certificate had to be taken from those records.
D: Taken!
A:  But--
D: Taken!
A:  But, sir, if you look right here is says it's an official legal--
D: Taken! (This time grabs the certificate out of my hand so that he can point to the word taken)
A:  Yes, I can read sir.

At this point I am in total disbelief and practically in tears.  I give up and ask if he can at least give me a normal license instead of an enhanced one and he agrees.  While he is processing the normal license I continue to express my confusion over the situation just as a supervisor happens to walk by and overhears me.  He stops and asks what the trouble is.  I show the supervisor my birth certificate and he shrugs, "what's the problem?"  The jerky guy states that it's not a proper document and the supervisor looks confused.  "Of course it is" he says, "it's her birth certificate!"  Hallelujah!!!

Once the supervisor walks away the jerk let's me know that he still doesn't think it's valid, but since the supervisor said it was, he would take it.  No apology what so ever!  I couldn't believe he was such a jerk.  This is exactly the reason that DMV workers have such a bad rap... because it's true.  That incident was not the end of his stupidity either. 

I was born in DC and as he is typing my info into the system he asks, "Well, what state were you born in?"  "I was born in Washington, DC" I answer, somewhat confused.  "Well, then what city were you born in?"  "Uh, Washington, DC" I answer again, trying my best to keep my cool.  It was SO hard not to be snarky while explaining to him that Washington, DC was a city that is not inside of any other state.  I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by asking sweetly, "I guess you don't get too many DC people coming in here, huh?"  My attempt at kindness was clearly not appreciated and he snapped back at me, "Yes we do!"  Well, sir, if that's the truth than you just made yourself look like an even bigger doofus.

If you are thinking to yourself that surely this man's incompetence must have some sort of limit, than you thought wrong.  As part of my proof of Washington residency I had to show them my Comcast bill which has my new apartment address.  This is where he took my info to plug into the system and he screwed that up!!!  Unfortunately, the whole process was such an ordeal and I was so relieved for it to be over that I didn't even notice until I was posting a photo of my new license on facebook.  I guess I shouldn't really be too surprised that he copied my address wrong off of a clearly printed piece of paper.

I called the DMV hoping they could just fix it over the phone, but they said that the change had to be corrected in person, so this morning I had to go back.  I actually went to a different location that is closer to the apartment and tried (unsuccessfully) to experiment with taking the bus.  The subway in DC is easy because you only have a few choices (red, blue, green, etc.) but with the bus system, their are like 20 different routes that come through a single stop.  In theory, since I was only going a short distance down a main road, the map made it look like I could hop on pretty much any line.  I tried getting onto two different buses and asking the drivers if they were going my way, but neither one was so I gave up and just walked the 2 miles in the rain to the DMV office.

What I didn't realize was that every time you go in they make you take a new photo.  Not that yesterday's picture was all that great, but at least I didn't look like a sweaty, frizzy, drowned rat from walking miles through the wind and rain like I did today.  Oh well, license photos are supposed to be ugly, right?  I still need to get my Washington plates for the car, but now I'm one step closer to being an official Seattlite!